So I just wanted to reassure everyone that me stopping facebook has nothing to do with anyone but myself.
Over the past year facebook has become my fall back for hiding behind myself. I am not sure if that makes sense, but I have found that over the years it has eaten away at my self confidence, it has distracted me from my children, my husband and my relationship with God. I find that the inspirational quotes that are on facebook have become my only interaction/ bible study time. I get so caught up in reading about someone's life and thinking that my life is so boring or wishing I could go on a trip with my husband or sister that I have become discontent with the life that God has blessed me with.
I really started to notice that facebook was taking over my life a couple weeks ago when Gloria and I went out for dinner. I was more into posting pictures of our time together then actually spending time with her. I got so caught up in the social media conversation that I stopped having a conversation with her, who was right across the table from me.
It came to more light last night. Jeff and I were sitting on the couch playing games and facebooking on Valentines day instead of loving on our kids and each other. Media has taken over our household and we need to take our household back from it. There was a point last night that I looked on the couch and every single one of us was looking at a screen. While our house was falling apart around us. The floors were dirty, there were piles of laundry to wash, and the kids toys were everywhere. I know that this is normal when parenting small children, but I also know that some of it was pure laziness and wanting to get lost in our screen and media. With Jeff and I both working full-time and our schedules being so crazy any time that we have needs to be with our kids and not our screens. We need to take care of our home and our hearts first.
Turning off facebook is my first step. I know many of you are afraid that without facebook you will not know what is going on in our lives. We still have phones that text, take pictures and even still receive calls and e-mails. So you are more then welcome to contact us in that form. I am going to keep up my instagram page and can post pictures there from time to time and I will also text funny pictures of the kids along with sending them to you in email. If someone says something funny, be prepared for a group text from me to let you know that Jackson has informed that he has fireworks in his mouth and he showed me that he did by making a "whistling sound" which sounded like fireworks.
Honestly, we are pretty boring right now. We go to work, we come home, we make dinner, we clean up dinner, we put kids in the bath and then we watch a couple shows before we go to bed and get up and do it the next day. We are boring so I really have nothing to post on facebook that is going to make you think “wow I wish I was the Darling’s they do such fun things.” If you want to know what we are up to send me a text and I will let you know as time allows in the day, but I promise you it is nothing life changing.
I am not stopping facebook because someone offended me…I am stopping because it has consumed me to the point that it is an addiction. I find myself measuring myself up to other moms, wishing I was like them, and feeling as if I was a bad wife and mother. I have become disappointed in my self image and feel I have nothing to give to my kids and husband. These are a few of the things I have felt using facebook over that past years. It needs to stop so that I can love my children and be their mom and not the Pinterest or facebook version mom. I want some of the memories the kids and I make to only be shared with me. I don't need to hashtag ot so the world knows that #raisingboys or #motherofdoubledigets. I want to live life with them and share those things with my husband and family...the world does not need to know.
Will I be back on facebook? Maybe. Probably. But not until i can learn to control myself and not try and measure myself to others. I want to be able to look on my newsfeeds, like a few things, comment on other, and share how God has been loving on me and my family without the worry of how others will see me or judge more or how I judge myself.
I ask that you pray for me and my family. We have put a lot of other things in front of them and now leaving facebook is our first step to getting back to where we need to be. We love you all and will miss seeing you grow and hearing about the many things you are doing.
If you would like to keep in contact with me I will be keeping messanger on my phone and you can always pop in and say "hi" or you can text me at 406-860-3366 or email me at estherdarling@hotmail.com
