It's NOT a Third World Country.....

Today is Jeff's final day of his 6 week training period at the Bozeman Target.  It has gone so fast. Sunday we will be sending him off to Helena to officially start this new journey.

Every time I think about the next 12 weeks I get a lump in my throat, I feel short of breath and an since of being overwhelmed. I find my self making list after list of things  I need to do over the next 12 weeks and trying to figure out how I am going to get them all done. I am by myself with 3 sometimes 4 kids. I think about the fact that I will be alone in my house with just the kids. I won't be able to touch his leg with my foot to remind myself that he is right next to me. I keep thinking I will need to sleep upstairs where I can "protect my nest" and be able to hear my kids better. I have contemplated getting a gun...For those of you who know me and my fear of gun you would understand that this is a big step just to even think about it. Also please note that I am not against guns and I feel when used to protect and to survive they are good to have around. I think about the fact that since daddy will not be home I don't need to cook a huge meal that I then have to fight with my kids to eat and lose the battle. That will be my highlight of the 12 weeks.:) I worry about the amount of traveling Jeff will have to do to come and see us for a 24 hour period. Yes it is only and hour and half, but It is still time on the road. I worry about my kids and how they will respond to not having daddy home at night. The funny things Jeff will miss Elijah say and the dare devil stuff that Jackson will attempt. BATH TIME and BEDTIME ALONE ARE A NIGHTMARE! ...My list could go on and on about my worry, fear, and uncertainty...BUT I KNOW....

God has a great plan, bigger then the plan I could ever set out for my life. He is faithful and true to his plan and we need Him to see us through this plan.He is always there and faithful. There have been so many times in our 12 years of marriage where we have had to fall back and trust that he was and is always there to catch us and help us. This time is not any different.

We have made several moves in our marriage. Some good and some bad. Some that were defiantly us walking away from God and doing our own plan. Others have been God bring us back to him. Each move has brought us closer to Him.

Moving to Helena is probably one of the hardest moves we will have to make. How could that be possible, when we left MN we left family, and when we left Billings we left family.  Again we are leaving family. We love our church, our neighbors, our friends, our home, Gloria's school and her friends. We have built ties here. Friendships that we have both prayed for, for so many years. We have that here. We love the little life we have created here and don't want to miss out on all the great things happening to the wonderful people around us. Its hard to let go and let God...BUT I KNOW...

 God has a great plan. Are all my questions answered? Does that mean I am not going to cry every time I see someone I will have to say Goodbye to in a few weeks. Probably not. I try to rest my anxious heart on Gods shoulders because I know he can take care of me and all my worldly worries. I remind myself of how God has opened this path for us and how if we would have not moved in this direction Jeff most likely would have been unemployed by the end of this year. I look at the fact that I get to buy a house. I get to go through all my junk and get rid of stuff so that I can make my new home "clutter free"...haha! I get to meet new people that I know will bless myself and my family. Its not like we are moving to a third world country...I mean it is just Helena, MT 90 miles down the road. I try and focus on all the new possibilities for our family and the new things we will get to experience. I think about the excitement that Jeff feels when he comes home from a place he enjoys. I think about the fact that during the next year as we get to know our new home that I will get to spend more quality time with my kids building our relationships and growing with each other. With each step in the journey we are seeing God. In the little and the big things. We are learning to have an open mind and how to be patient with each road block that God knew we would face. We are learning new things and I know in a year we will look back and know that God has us right where he wants us and he will always be faithful.

So it is not a Third World Country, it is Helena Montana. We can do this!!