Wow! Yeah it has been a while since I posted last. So sorry
about that….I know I have so many followers and they just can’t wait to read my
posts. Sorry Mom and Brenda! Haha!
March 21st…It seems like yesterday, but also
seems like forever. The roll coaster that is our life continues whether we want
it to or not. I am over the self-loathing about moving to Helena. It really isn’t
that bad and we seem to be getting adjusted, but more on that later.
Just 2 short weeks after writing this post I spent that last
3 days with my wonderful and amazing Daddy before he went home to be with the
Lord. Oh, how my heart breaks. Just to think of him or even speak his name from
time to time, but we do not put the ones we love in a box and sit them on a
shelf to never be thought of, spoken of, or loved once they have gone. We love
them and keep their memory alive. As many of you know (mom and Brenda…I am
convinced they are the only two people that read my blog.) my dad was promoted
to Heaven on April 24th. He was admitted into the Hospital 2 days
earlier with signs of a heart attack and after being in the ICU for a day he
went into cardiac arrest and they were unable to keep him here on earth. This
moment turned our whole world upside down. If any of you have ever had the
pleasure of meeting my Dad you would know that he was a Pastor for 40 years and
25 of those years were spent at Grace Baptist Church in Billings, MT. He was a
jack of all trades and he loved to help people fix things. My last and best
memory of my Dad is him and I sitting in my living room 2 weeks before he died
talking about all the things that we would do in the new house. I had a list a
mile long and I was so looking forward to getting my hands dirty along-side my
daddy. Something that I have enjoyed doing for as long as I can remember. Something
I will truly miss. He loved Montana and all its beauty. Many times with-in a
year he would take mom away to explore. We called them Montana Staycations.
Every summer we would hop in the van and go on an “educational vacation”. He
also loved his 10 grandchildren. Heaven has gained and earth has lost.
The last time we were with Dad, he and mom had come to
Bozeman to surprise Gloria for her 9th birthday. We were so blessed
to have that time with him. Such a great last memory! Sharing that moment with him will be something
Gloria can hold on to for a life time. Our sweet Gloria Grace, loved her
Grandpa dearly and she struggles as much, if not more, than I do sometime.
The last few days that we spent with Dad, although
important, are not the moments I want to remember. Sitting with him at dinner
or watching him, watch our kids play together, those are the memories I want to
keep close to my heart. The last few hours that dad was alive were hard. Most
the time he was in and out. Struggling with his breathing and managing his
pain. Those days/hours hurt to think about. I still remember his steel blue
eyes looking at me with such pain and struggle. Something I wish I would never
have to see, dads are not supposed to hurt or feel pain….they are Super Hero’s
in disguise! Those hours seemed so
uncertain. I am not a fan of uncertain.
I could probably write a thousand pages just on dad and all
that we have lost and how I miss him deeply and how it still doesn’t feel real
and that healing is hard to do. There truly is so much more I could say, but I need
to continue on with this blog post or you will get bored and leave.
Forward we will go!
Two weeks after dad’s funeral we closed on our house in
Helena. This was supposed to be an exciting time, but I found it tainted with
the loss of my handy man. We closed Mother’s Day weekend so now Jeff can say he
bought me a house for Mother’s Day. Way to go Babe! The next month was a
whirlwind of emotions and hard labor. The kids were in their final month of
school, we were packing, and spending as much time with all our friends as we
could.
June 5th we finished school, packed up the van with
the last of our belongings and moved to Helena. So many mixed emotions during
the last weeks. The kids had made some truly wonderful friends living in
Bozeman and leaving them was hard for all of us.
Life in Helena really is not a third world country. We have
running water and electricity so that is a plus! Haha! No, really. Helena is
not as bad as we once thought. We have had a great chance to explore and find
things to do here. The Carousel and the Science Museum being two of our favorite
things. We live in a very quiet neighborhood which has made it hard to find new
friends, but school quickly approaches and we will make friends. We went to the
“Symphony under the Stars”, that will become a summer tradition. We have gone
to the lake a few time and feel we need a boat. We have gone to the public pool
and parks, had swim lessons and have even made trips to Urgent Care.
It has been fun to decorate the house and make it ours. I
will post some pictures for you to enjoy later…….. We surprised the kids with a
pool and they have been able to enjoy that. We also made them a fun sandbox and
they love getting dirty!
We have even had a few house guest. My mom and Rachel came
for 4th of July and Jacksons birthday. It was so nice to have them
here, but bitter sweet, of course. Missing dad walking in and seeing our new
home. He loved taking tours of each of our new places and telling us ways we
could fix this or do that. In late July we had Gloria’s friend Brooklyn come
for a few days. Then some of Elijah and Jackson’s friends came the next week
for an afternoon that was much too short. After our Family Staycation/ Explore
Montana Educational Trip, we picked up Sophia and she stayed with us for a
couple days.
The summer has truly flown by. We are on our last 10 days
till school will start again. The kids are nervicited (that is nervous and
excited mixed….the things you learn from My Little Pony) to start school and
start meeting some kids. Gloria especially.
We are enjoying this new chapter. There has been a lot of ups
and downs but God continues to lead and guide us. Jeff is starting to feel the
pressure and stress of his new job, but we have made our family verse Philippians
4:6-7 and will dwell on his word. We have found a church nearby and look
forward to his leading while we attend.
God is good. All the Time!
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